Feeling it

It has been a really long time since I've been in any sort of groove with working out and eating healthy. Since I trained for Ragnar two years ago it has been a struggle to want to work out and an even bigger struggle to want to eat healthy. I just wanted to eat all the "good" things, I was tired of dieting and depriving  myself, so I didn't do it anymore. Add in the stress of buying house, having John's grandmother move in with us, moving and starting a new job and my waistline and weight reached new highs that I am ashamed to think about, let alone talk about.
But right now I am in such a good place! Almost two months ago I knew I needed to to do something and even though I know a lot about dieting and macros and counting calories, I knew I couldn't do it alone. I enlisted the help of an online personal trainer I've worked with in the past but this time I wanted to make small changes that I could sustain instead of jumping in and getting overwhelmed. So I signed up for macro tracking, basically Lindsey tells me how many grams of carbs, fat and protein I get each day and I try to stay within five grams up or down of that goal. Before I could start doing that though she had me track my calories for four days to get a baseline. Talk about a wake-up call. One of the days I ate over 3,000 calories and too me it wasn't even a day that I "pigged out." It wasn't hard to see why I had gotten so fat. The first week was a struggle, keeping my fat content in my goal range was hard!! Why do things have so much fat in them?! Getting enough protein was even harder. But Lindsey promised me I was doing great and that it would get easier over time.
A week later, I found a 12-week online workout challenge. The IdealShape Shape Up Challenge has been sooooo good for me! It was exactly the type of program I needed to get back into the groove of working out. Every week I get six workouts emailed to me, I pull them up via Youtube on my TV and follow along. The workouts are short (15 to 20 minutes) but effective and all I need to do them is some dumbbells and an exercise ball (which I already had). I'm halfway through the challenge and loving it! The combination of the workout challenge and macro tracking is perfect for me. I don't feel deprived because if I want to eat mac and cheese for dinner I can, I just have to "budget" my macros accordingly for the rest of the day. But I've also rediscovered that healthy food doesn't have to be boring and bland! I had three pumpkin chocolate chip muffins for breakfast that were made with egg whites and oatmeal and were delicious. For dinner I'm having chicken enchiladas in a whole wheat tortilla. I don't feel deprived and that makes me want to keep going!
 Because I can do all the workouts at home I don't have to try and motivate myself to go to the gym and they are short so it doesn't take an hour and a half to get a good workout in. So far I've lost 10 pounds and a total of 9 inches, mostly from my waist and hips. So many times in the past I've started working out and not seen instant results and have given up. I'm so glad I've stuck it out for six weeks because now that I am seeing changes I even more motivated to keep going because I'm so excited to see what else will happen. And even though I know the holidays will be hard I am happy that my 12-week challenge won't end until the week before Christmas because I want to stay motivated and keep working hard and maybe even lose weight this holiday season instead of gaining it like I have always done in the past.
I'm feeling good and can't wait to keep going!!

Bittersweet

Today I am a bundle of emotions. Nervous, excited, sad.. all rolled into one. It is my last day at the Herald and I would be lying if I said I wasn't going to miss it here.
I've made a lot of great friends in my (almost) 3 years here and I am sad to be leaving them. It's been so fun getting to know the people here and joking about stories and sharing many, many treats. The people here is definitely the thing I will miss the most.
I am also a little sad to be leaving the newsroom and journalism. I will miss the adrenaline rush of writing on a deadline after a late night jury verdict, I'll miss writing every single day (although I hope that will be part of my new job) and since I like to know things, I'll miss being the first to know the news!
I am also extremely excited for the new opportunity a head of me. I am excited to not have to commute 70-plus miles to work every day, I'm excited to get to work in the health care industry, something I have been passionate about for years, I'm excited about using my skills in a different field and I'm excited to get to know new people and make new friends.
Change is always scary and exciting and I am feeling butterflies about starting a new job tomorrow but today as I leave the Herald for the last time there is only one word to describe it: bittersweet.

What did I get myself into?

Painting seems like a good idea until you are in the middle of painting.
This is what happened to me over the weekend, I got super excited about painting pretty much the entire new house. I was going to paint the kitchen and the master bedroom and the living room and entry way and master bathroom and maybe even the two guest bedrooms. Really the only room I wasn't going to paint was the guest bathroom. Lucky for me (and my credit card) I got overwhelmed with choosing paint colors for all these places and decided to scale it down and only paint the living room, entry way and one bathroom.
I spent probably 10 hours or more this weekend taping walls and ceilings and painting the living room. My shoulders and arms are sore from the actual painting, my back is sore from bending over to paint the bottom of the walls and my calves are sore from standing on my tip toes to paint the tops of the walls. And I am probably not even halfway done. Because the colors that are currently in the house are super dark I have to do two coats of paint on every service, meaning I essentially have to paint every room twice. This weekend I finished the living room and I am not looking forward to next weekend, which I know will be another 3-day marathon painting session in hopes of finishing everything else. Who's idea was this?

Calm Down

Now that the long and super annoying process of buying a house is over I am getting really excited to move in and make it our own and by really excited I mean I have gone a little bit crazy.
I filled a shopping cart (and deleted it all) on Home Depot's website no less than 4 times. I have done the same at Ikea, WalMart and Target.
It is all so exciting! I just want to buy a million things: new curtains, new furniture, stuff to build a pantry, a new light for the dining room, a new vanity for the bathroom and the list goes on an on! Then of course there are things we actually need like new locks for the doors, smoke alarms, a lawn mower and handles for the cabinets in the kitchen.
And I want to do a million projects too! Like build a pantry, put a new vanity and medicine cabinet in the bathroom, put a shelf in the laundry room, paint some walls, add some shelves, change lights out and all this on top of making our backyard which has 3-foot tall weeds and no grass, look somewhat decent.
And of course I need to finally print some wedding pictures and hang all my other pictures on the wall for everyone to see!
In the two days since we got the keys to the house I have measured almost every room in the house, used online graph paper to try and decide how to arrange the furniture in our living room and bedroom (yes I know I have a problem) and crunched numbers a million times to decide how much of my craziness we can actually afford.
The problem with all of this, besides the money part, is that I am very much one of those people who get all excited to start a project and do really well for a little while and then lose interest and either never finish or take forever to finish. I can't start 6 projects at my new house because I know if I do a year from now at least 4 of them will probably not be done and that would make me crazy for a whole new reason.
I think it is probably a good idea for someone to take away all my credit cards and ban me from going to Home Depot, Lowe's or Ikea until some of the excitement has passed and I can make rational decisions again.

I am a control freak

This is not new information. I have always been a control freak. I like to know what is happening, why, when and be in control of those things whenever possible.
That makes buying a house one of the most stressful things ever!! John and I are in the process of getting approved by the banking/looking at houses/praying our offer is accepted and it is making me crazy! Because I can't control any of it, all I can do is sit and wait and try not to have a panic attack (side note: it is not going well).
I can't control how fast the bank processes our application or if the seller accepts our offer and I am not very good at being patient!
As another side note, my control freak ways did make the actual application process with the bank go very smoothly because I had all the documents I need printed out and ready to give the mortgage officer which made everything super easy and fast.
I know all this waiting will be worth it in the end but in the meantime I am going crazy!!

New Year, New Me

For as many years as I can remember I have made my New Year's resolution to lose weight, while this year is no different I still want to lose weight, I am doing it for a different reason.

In the past my number one focus was always looking good and being "skinny" but after several months of health issues, that may or may not be related to my weight, I am ready for a real positive change that has nothing to do with what size of jeans I can wear. 

I want to lose weight so I can be healthy, so my body doesn't have to work so hard to go through daily life, so I don't someday end up taking medicine for high blood pressure, high cholesterol and maybe diabetes. If there is anything that being sick off and on for the past several months has taught me it is this: good health is a blessing but not something that comes without work. 

I want more than anything to not be sick anymore (or ever again but that is just wishful thinking) and I have come to realize that no amount a medicine can make up for not taking care of my body. 

I have to drink more water and eat more vegetables and workout and stop making excuses. No one forced me to not workout for 4 months, nobody has held me down and forced me to eat pizza, ice cream, cookies, pop, sugary cereal and a number of other foods that have been a regular part of my diet the past few months. I chose to eat those thing and I chose to not workout and now I have to choose healthier habits. 

As I write this I am drinking a green juice made from cucumber, celery, spinach, lemon and apple. It isn't the most tasty thing I have ever drank but it is good for me and for my body. 

I want to eat less processed foods, drink less caffeine, eat more whole foods and listen to my body when it comes to hunger cues. I don't want to never eat dessert again but I do need to implement a lot of moderation in my life. I know I can't do a complete 180 all at once but I am on the path, taking baby steps, towards a healthier, happier me. 

My Life Matters Too

I have listened to and read much about the debate on abortion, birth control and other women's health issues over the past year but none of it has been quite as disturbing as this: http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2013/12/03/aclu_v_catholic_bishops_tamesha_means_was_turned_away_from_michigan_s_mercy.html

It is a short article/opinion piece and you should read it but in a nutshell there are hospital in the US, namely Catholic ones, that are refusing to treat women who are having miscarriages basically because they are against abortion.
I can at least understand where the Catholic church and other religious institutions are coming from with not wanting to supply birth control under health insurance because it goes against their beliefs, but this makes absolutely no sense to me.
This story doesn't indicate how far along the woman seeking treatment was but I think it is fair to assume it was in the first trimester because that is when the vast majority of miscarriages take place. The story does, however, say the woman wanted to be pregnant and didn't want to terminate her pregnancy. How does it make sense to risk the life of a woman for the life a baby who wouldn't survive outside the womb anyway?
How can anyone in the medical field refuse life-saving treatment to someone who needs it? How can the "rights" of a fetus be put a head of a those of a living, breathing person whom that fetus can't live without anyway?
I am in no way advocating for abortion and think that abortion, especially late term abortion, should be illegal in most cases with rape and life-threatening situations being the exception. I think abortion has become too easy to get and an easy way to avoid the consequences of poor choices but that doesn't mean there aren't cases where it is warranted and it definitely doesn't mean every woman who has a miscarriage should be prosecuted or refused care. I believe babies should be given every chance to be born and grow-up to live happy, healthy lives but  I can't get on board with putting the rights of fetuses that can't live outside the womb ahead of my own.