Precious Memories

It has taken me a few days to work up the emotional stability to be able to write this post without breaking down completely, don't get me wrong I'll still be crying by the end but hopefully I can write something well composed and thoughtful, instead of the jumbled mess of emotions I would have written a few days ago.
It has been two weeks since my Grandma Connie passed away. I think about and miss her everyday and still struggle with the reality that I will never get another phone call just to check in on me from her again.
I have so so so many memories of Grandma Connie and I want to remember every single one of them.
I want remember how she used to sing, "How do you solve a problem like Maria?" to me. I want to remember the bright pink visor she used to wear when we moved the cows and how Grandpa Bob used to yell that she was scaring the cows off with it because it was so bright. I want to remember how we would pick hundreds of carrots from her garden and then wash them in the washing machine. I want to remember splashing through her irrigation flooded lawn in the summer time and getting in trouble when we fed Sooner too many Oreos.
I remember we used to go on family camping trips to Yellowstone and how the cousins would rotate turns getting hot chocolate in the camper because there was only room for 4 of us at a time. I remember having family cookouts at Grandma's house and playing baseball in the backyard and that if the ball went over the fence it wasn't a home-run but you were out because Grandma and Grandpa wanted to make it fair to the little kids. Of course I remember all the Christmas parties with the Oreos and Lucky Charms, cheese, chocolates and nuts.
I remember sitting at the bar while Grandma cooked dinner and eating bread and gravy with Grandpa. I remember how we used to sneak Grandma's tiny sample Avon lipsticks out and try them all on while she wasn't watching us but then of course she knew because we never got all the lipstick wiped off our faces. I remember watching Jazz games with Grandma and how mad she would get when they didn't play well. I remember going with her to get her hair done and to watch the WBBA baseball games in the summer.
I remember sleep overs at Grandmas and how whenever me and my sisters would fight she would start singing, "Let us Oft Speak Kinds Words," I can still hear her singing it to us.
I remember countless hours of making chocolates. Or rather Grandma making chocolates and us eating as many as possible while we were boxing them up. When I got older and got my own box of chocolates she would always call and see which flavors I wanted in my box. I remember bringing the tiny baby lambs into the kitchen so they could get warm. Grandma loved music and always hummed or sang as she did many of the things I remember.
I remember when I first died my hair in 8th grade and it came out a little darker than planned and Granmda wanted to put peroxide on it it make it lighter. I remember her cheering me on at volleyball and basketball games and being there when I graduated from high school.
I have more recent memories too. Riding from Altamont to Salt Lake with Grandma while Grandpa was flown on LifeFlight, just so she wouldn't have to ride alone and picking out the fabric for my wedding quilt.
The summer after I graduated from high school I lived at my Grandma Kay and Grandpa John's house in Farmington and took a class at the U. Grandma stayed will me for most of the summer because Grandpa Bob was at LDS hospital. We watched, "King of Queens" most nights just because it was always on and it was funny. Grandma always called Doug, doofus. One night I was busy doing something and hadn't turned the show on when I heard Grandma call from the living room, "Paige, we are missing doofus." It was so funny that she remembered at 9 p.m. we were supposed to watch TV together.
Grandma was there waiting for me when my roommate Emily had to take me to the ER because I had a kidney infection. She held my hand while they put in my IV and paid my co-payment because I didn't have enough money. She took me to her hotel room and let me sleep uninterrupted for almost 24 hours so I could get better.
She always loved John too, just like he was her own grandkid. She loved Willy too and would always ask me how he was doing when she called me.
Just a few months ago, Sammie and I, spent the morning helping Grandma cook lunch for cowboys. She taught me the right way to make Texas Sheet Cake because I had failed miserably in an attempt to make it for John for Valentine's day, I just hope I can get it even close when I try to make it again. Sammie and I ran to the store for a few minutes and left Easton sleeping, when we got back Grandma was holding him on the couch trying to get him to stop crying, it was such a sweet moment and it makes me so sad to know she'll never hold my babies.
More than anything I remember how Grandma was always there for us. She always called just to check in and stopped at my parents house just to say hi. We always knew if we needed her she was just a phone call away.
I could go on and on about all the things I remember about Grandma Connie but I'll always remember how much she loved me, John, Willy, my sisters and everyone around her. She radiated love and kindness and compassion wherever she went and that love is what I want to remember the most.
I love you Grandma Connie.