Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Scary Can be a Good Thing

The word scary doesn't usually conjure up images of sunshine and roses but sometimes we have to do something scary before we can get to the good part. Sometimes following your dreams is the scariest thing in the world.
I've been working on a book lately, an erotic romance, that I am planning on publishing next year. To admit that is one of the hardest things I've done in a long time. I starting writing a book years ago and abandoned it half way through, in part because it was also an erotic romance and I was afraid what my conservative family and friends would think. 
Would they disown me? (A little extreme I realize but a true thought nonetheless). Would they still be proud of me if I published something they didn't agree with? Would I get attacked for contributing to the downfall of society? Would I have to explain myself at every family function for the rest of my life? I want those people who love me to be proud of me, not ashamed because I wrote something reminiscent of 50 Shades of Grey. 
I wrote a short story for a collection of erotic short stories, it's been published and available for a few days now, but no one (except a few close friends) know about it because I'm still nervous about what people are going to think. 
But this is what I want!! I've dreamed about being an author since I was a kid, I've wanted to publish a book for years. I want people to read my books and not be able to put them down, to read them again just because the love it that much. This is my dream and I have to go after it. There are stories in my head just waiting to be told, itching to get out; a lot of times those stories are more than a little sexual, but I'm going to tell them anyway. 
Please don't disown me or hate me for following my dream. I promise there are some non-erotic stories in my head too and one day I'll write them too, but for now I'm going to finish the book I've been working on since May (and then go back and finish the one I started six years ago). I won't hold it against you for not reading it, if you won't hold it against me for writing it. 
I'm still scared but that just means I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and doing something hard. Sometimes hard things are the ones that turn out the best. 

Friday, August 26, 2016

Feeling Nostalgic

Sometimes I hear a song that takes me back to my childhood and makes me feel all nostalgic. This morning that song was "Dig Your Roots" by Florida Georgia Line. I heard them play it a month ago at the concert in Cheyenne and loved it then and it was finally available to buy in iTunes this morning. I might have listened it to it on repeat the entire way to work. It just reminded me of all the good times I had growing up and the important lessons I learned, and am still learning, from my grandparents and parents.
Growing up in a small town is something you can't really explain unless you've done it. As much as I love the convenience of living in place where the store doesn't close at 7 p.m. I wouldn't trade my youth and growing up in Altamont for anything in the world.
There is something special about being able to go home 10 years later and talk to people in the store like you never left. Something awesome about knowing that no matter what you do with your life there is a whole town of people who know you and love you and are proud of everything you've done. People who care about your kids and your husband and want to get to know them just like they know you. It's something I've probably taken for granted more than a time or two, but also something I know is unique and special, and something I'll treasure forever.
I didn't just grow up in a small town though, I grew up on a farm in that small town. Nothing has taught me more about life, love, family and hard work than working next to my sisters on the farm. We spent our summers picking rocks, moving cows and turning hay bales in the fields (with plenty of time to play in the river left over) and winters feeding cows and shoveling the sheep barn. I might have hated every minute spent shoveling poop out of the sheep barn and cursed the days I had to get up before dawn in below freezing temperatures in middle of winter and go feed the cows, but I can honestly say I wouldn't trade those experiences either. They made me who I am today and hopefully made me a better person too.
If there is anything Grandpa Bob and Grandma Connie taught me it is that nothing is handed to you, you've got to work hard for everything you want and sometimes even then life has other plans but you just keep on working hard. All the years of working on the farm taught me that if something is worth doing it is worth doing right and nothing is more important than family.