There have been a lot of up and downs since I blogged about Thanksgiving last year. John's uncle passing away and his grandma moving in with us, buying a house and getting a new job just to name a few. But even with the challenges and bad times I am still so overwhelmed by how grateful I am for everything I have. It has taken many years, experiences and meeting new people for me to truly realize how good I have it.
I have an amazing family, one of the best in my opinion, who are full of love and support no matter what stupid things I may do. I have friends that are always there for me when I need a laugh, a shoulder to cry on and a night out to relieve some stress. I have an incredible husband who loves me no matter what and does whatever it takes to make me happy. I have a house to call my own, a car that runs (with heat and A/C), an awesome job that I love and a lovable and a snuggly pug to come home to everyday. I really don't think I could ask for anymore because I know I am so so blessed!
As I sit here getting ready to go home for the day and get started on the Thanksgiving preparations I can't be anything but thankful. Thankful for all the wonderful people in my life, thankful for everyone who has ever supported me and helped me get where I am today, thankful for a home and what is sure to be an amazing meal tomorrow, thankful for the family I get to share it with and those who are far away, thankful for everything, just thankful.
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Monday, November 10, 2014
Enough already!
I'm not even a mom and all the "mom-shaming" and competition about breastfeeding vs. bottle-feeding, stay-at-home moms vs. working moms, co-sleeping or not, is getting ridiculous. I rarely go more than a few days without seeing some article or blog or post on Facebook about these so called "mommy wars". All I can say is, what is wrong with us? Why do we have to judge each other, and put each other down? Shouldn't we, as women and mothers, be supporting each other, not tearing each other down?
Based solely on observations of friends, families and acquaintances I think it is safe to say that being a mom is hard work, without being put down for the choices you make for yourself and your family. First and, probably foremost, is this crazy debate about breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding, brought to the forefront by news stories of women being asked to leave any number of public places for breastfeeding. Women should not be forced into dirty bathrooms or hot cars to feed their babies, end of story, but women should also not be shamed by other women if they cannot/choose not to breastfeed. This story was written by a woman who had breast cancer and double mastectomy before she had her baby and therefore could not breastfeed. She was shamed and bullied by the nurses at the hospital, women in a baby and me yoga class and perfect strangers for not breast feeding when it was physically impossible. But even if she simply made the choice not to breastfeed she shouldn't be shamed. Why do we have to make each other feel bad for making the best choice for our families? I have already written a blog about breastfeeding so I won't bore you by rehashing my argument again.
Even more crazy to me than the breastfeeding battle seems to be this competition between stay-at-home moms and working moms.
This story in the Deseret News is what sparked this blog in the first place. I saw it posted on my Facebook timeline more than once yesterday. One person thought it was interesting, another thought it was a shameful example of journalism, others simply liked it. The story was not at all what I expected to read when I clicked on it. I expected another article about how much work stay-at-home moms actually do all day, which by the way I don't think even needs to be explained, no one should have to defend their daily life to strangers. But this article listed things like stay at home moms are better off financially, have thinner, smarter and happier kids, and are happier themselves. The author cites various studies as the resources for the information on each of the six items.
What I find fascinating is this article, which directly contradicts the DNews article, cites a study saying stay at home moms are more depressed and this one talks about how a large percentage of stay at home moms live at or below the poverty line and are only stay at home moms because they have no other choice. Which happens to be the exact point that President Obama made in a controversial speech last week. Facebook exploded with posts about how Obama hates stay at home moms, which by the way, is not what he said. His point was that moms should not be forced to stay at home because they have no other option, that there needs to be affordable daycare options out there for moms who need to or want to work. His point was not that no woman should ever be a stay at home mom but that they shouldn't be forced to make that choice. But I can't help but wonder, why does everyone care what I do with my children?
If you want to be a stay at home mom from the day you bring your baby home from the hospital until the day they graduate from high school that is great, if you can afford to do that, even better! If you want to go back to work six weeks after your baby is born that is fine too! If you want to stay home until your kids are in school and then go back to work part-time, great!
I can't understand why the choices we make for ourselves and our families have to be judged by everyone else. Not everyone has the income or desire to be a stay at home mom but that doesn't make them a bad mom who is going to raise dumb, fat and unhappy children!
Women and mothers, have enough battles to fight and obstacles to overcome without putting each other down. Let's take a step back and realize that we may not know everything about everyone else's circumstances or why they make the choices they do. Instead, let's be supportive and caring and kind, regardless of whether we have different opinions and ways of doing things. Let's stop all the pointless arguing and shaming and instead just support each other as women and mothers.
Based solely on observations of friends, families and acquaintances I think it is safe to say that being a mom is hard work, without being put down for the choices you make for yourself and your family. First and, probably foremost, is this crazy debate about breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding, brought to the forefront by news stories of women being asked to leave any number of public places for breastfeeding. Women should not be forced into dirty bathrooms or hot cars to feed their babies, end of story, but women should also not be shamed by other women if they cannot/choose not to breastfeed. This story was written by a woman who had breast cancer and double mastectomy before she had her baby and therefore could not breastfeed. She was shamed and bullied by the nurses at the hospital, women in a baby and me yoga class and perfect strangers for not breast feeding when it was physically impossible. But even if she simply made the choice not to breastfeed she shouldn't be shamed. Why do we have to make each other feel bad for making the best choice for our families? I have already written a blog about breastfeeding so I won't bore you by rehashing my argument again.
Even more crazy to me than the breastfeeding battle seems to be this competition between stay-at-home moms and working moms.
This story in the Deseret News is what sparked this blog in the first place. I saw it posted on my Facebook timeline more than once yesterday. One person thought it was interesting, another thought it was a shameful example of journalism, others simply liked it. The story was not at all what I expected to read when I clicked on it. I expected another article about how much work stay-at-home moms actually do all day, which by the way I don't think even needs to be explained, no one should have to defend their daily life to strangers. But this article listed things like stay at home moms are better off financially, have thinner, smarter and happier kids, and are happier themselves. The author cites various studies as the resources for the information on each of the six items.
What I find fascinating is this article, which directly contradicts the DNews article, cites a study saying stay at home moms are more depressed and this one talks about how a large percentage of stay at home moms live at or below the poverty line and are only stay at home moms because they have no other choice. Which happens to be the exact point that President Obama made in a controversial speech last week. Facebook exploded with posts about how Obama hates stay at home moms, which by the way, is not what he said. His point was that moms should not be forced to stay at home because they have no other option, that there needs to be affordable daycare options out there for moms who need to or want to work. His point was not that no woman should ever be a stay at home mom but that they shouldn't be forced to make that choice. But I can't help but wonder, why does everyone care what I do with my children?
If you want to be a stay at home mom from the day you bring your baby home from the hospital until the day they graduate from high school that is great, if you can afford to do that, even better! If you want to go back to work six weeks after your baby is born that is fine too! If you want to stay home until your kids are in school and then go back to work part-time, great!
I can't understand why the choices we make for ourselves and our families have to be judged by everyone else. Not everyone has the income or desire to be a stay at home mom but that doesn't make them a bad mom who is going to raise dumb, fat and unhappy children!
Women and mothers, have enough battles to fight and obstacles to overcome without putting each other down. Let's take a step back and realize that we may not know everything about everyone else's circumstances or why they make the choices they do. Instead, let's be supportive and caring and kind, regardless of whether we have different opinions and ways of doing things. Let's stop all the pointless arguing and shaming and instead just support each other as women and mothers.
Monday, November 3, 2014
Feeling it
It has been a really long time since I've been in any sort of groove with working out and eating healthy. Since I trained for Ragnar two years ago it has been a struggle to want to work out and an even bigger struggle to want to eat healthy. I just wanted to eat all the "good" things, I was tired of dieting and depriving myself, so I didn't do it anymore. Add in the stress of buying house, having John's grandmother move in with us, moving and starting a new job and my waistline and weight reached new highs that I am ashamed to think about, let alone talk about.
But right now I am in such a good place! Almost two months ago I knew I needed to to do something and even though I know a lot about dieting and macros and counting calories, I knew I couldn't do it alone. I enlisted the help of an online personal trainer I've worked with in the past but this time I wanted to make small changes that I could sustain instead of jumping in and getting overwhelmed. So I signed up for macro tracking, basically Lindsey tells me how many grams of carbs, fat and protein I get each day and I try to stay within five grams up or down of that goal. Before I could start doing that though she had me track my calories for four days to get a baseline. Talk about a wake-up call. One of the days I ate over 3,000 calories and too me it wasn't even a day that I "pigged out." It wasn't hard to see why I had gotten so fat. The first week was a struggle, keeping my fat content in my goal range was hard!! Why do things have so much fat in them?! Getting enough protein was even harder. But Lindsey promised me I was doing great and that it would get easier over time.
A week later, I found a 12-week online workout challenge. The IdealShape Shape Up Challenge has been sooooo good for me! It was exactly the type of program I needed to get back into the groove of working out. Every week I get six workouts emailed to me, I pull them up via Youtube on my TV and follow along. The workouts are short (15 to 20 minutes) but effective and all I need to do them is some dumbbells and an exercise ball (which I already had). I'm halfway through the challenge and loving it! The combination of the workout challenge and macro tracking is perfect for me. I don't feel deprived because if I want to eat mac and cheese for dinner I can, I just have to "budget" my macros accordingly for the rest of the day. But I've also rediscovered that healthy food doesn't have to be boring and bland! I had three pumpkin chocolate chip muffins for breakfast that were made with egg whites and oatmeal and were delicious. For dinner I'm having chicken enchiladas in a whole wheat tortilla. I don't feel deprived and that makes me want to keep going!
Because I can do all the workouts at home I don't have to try and motivate myself to go to the gym and they are short so it doesn't take an hour and a half to get a good workout in. So far I've lost 10 pounds and a total of 9 inches, mostly from my waist and hips. So many times in the past I've started working out and not seen instant results and have given up. I'm so glad I've stuck it out for six weeks because now that I am seeing changes I even more motivated to keep going because I'm so excited to see what else will happen. And even though I know the holidays will be hard I am happy that my 12-week challenge won't end until the week before Christmas because I want to stay motivated and keep working hard and maybe even lose weight this holiday season instead of gaining it like I have always done in the past.
I'm feeling good and can't wait to keep going!!
But right now I am in such a good place! Almost two months ago I knew I needed to to do something and even though I know a lot about dieting and macros and counting calories, I knew I couldn't do it alone. I enlisted the help of an online personal trainer I've worked with in the past but this time I wanted to make small changes that I could sustain instead of jumping in and getting overwhelmed. So I signed up for macro tracking, basically Lindsey tells me how many grams of carbs, fat and protein I get each day and I try to stay within five grams up or down of that goal. Before I could start doing that though she had me track my calories for four days to get a baseline. Talk about a wake-up call. One of the days I ate over 3,000 calories and too me it wasn't even a day that I "pigged out." It wasn't hard to see why I had gotten so fat. The first week was a struggle, keeping my fat content in my goal range was hard!! Why do things have so much fat in them?! Getting enough protein was even harder. But Lindsey promised me I was doing great and that it would get easier over time.
A week later, I found a 12-week online workout challenge. The IdealShape Shape Up Challenge has been sooooo good for me! It was exactly the type of program I needed to get back into the groove of working out. Every week I get six workouts emailed to me, I pull them up via Youtube on my TV and follow along. The workouts are short (15 to 20 minutes) but effective and all I need to do them is some dumbbells and an exercise ball (which I already had). I'm halfway through the challenge and loving it! The combination of the workout challenge and macro tracking is perfect for me. I don't feel deprived because if I want to eat mac and cheese for dinner I can, I just have to "budget" my macros accordingly for the rest of the day. But I've also rediscovered that healthy food doesn't have to be boring and bland! I had three pumpkin chocolate chip muffins for breakfast that were made with egg whites and oatmeal and were delicious. For dinner I'm having chicken enchiladas in a whole wheat tortilla. I don't feel deprived and that makes me want to keep going!
Because I can do all the workouts at home I don't have to try and motivate myself to go to the gym and they are short so it doesn't take an hour and a half to get a good workout in. So far I've lost 10 pounds and a total of 9 inches, mostly from my waist and hips. So many times in the past I've started working out and not seen instant results and have given up. I'm so glad I've stuck it out for six weeks because now that I am seeing changes I even more motivated to keep going because I'm so excited to see what else will happen. And even though I know the holidays will be hard I am happy that my 12-week challenge won't end until the week before Christmas because I want to stay motivated and keep working hard and maybe even lose weight this holiday season instead of gaining it like I have always done in the past.
I'm feeling good and can't wait to keep going!!
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