While I was at the DMV today, changing my name on my car title and registration the lady that was helping me said, "Getting married is hard work."
I have to agree.
I thought the hard work was done when the wedding day was over but no no.
First there was the planning the wedding, saving for the wedding, paying for the wedding, sending invites and all the other tasks that go with getting married but now I have to change my last name and send out a million thank you notes (which I am still working on, so don't worry you will get one, it just might take a while. In the meantime, thank you for all the awesome gifts!)
Changing your last time is tedious and annoying, it gets even more annoying when companies like Comcast and T-Mobile want me to bring my marriage certificate into their offices to change my last name. All the guy at the bank needed was my new drivers license, two of my store credit cards didn't need anything I changed my name online and bam two weeks later new cards, Rocky Mountain Power let me change my name over the phone and all I had to do was send one email for all my work insurance, 401k and payroll stuff to get changed.
My list of things to do until the name change process is totally complete has gone from about 20 to 4 or 5 but it is still a big pain, and is still going to require at least one more trip to a government office that is only open from 9 to 5 on weekdays.
I had a friend say once that changing her name was enough to make her never want to get a divorce because she is never changing her name back and now having gone through the process I would agree completely. I mean, I really hope that through the years there will be many other and much much better reasons to not get a divorce but on the really bad days at least it is something.
I got all excited at one point and bought a group-on for this online name changing service thinking that if I gave them all my information they would do all the work for me, wrong. All it did was give me all the forms I needed to fill out, which has been useful, but not nearly as useful as I was hoping for.
It might be a few more weeks before I have completed the whole process but since my social security card and drivers license have been changed I guess I am legally and officially, Paige Marie Hoffman. All those years of perfecting my signature have gone out the window, guess I better start practicing again.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Monday, August 20, 2012
Wait...What?
What ever happened to thinking before speaking? I think it is a good rule in general but for people that in the public eye, hollywood stars, politicians, etc. it should be mandatory.
A house representative from Missouri, Todd Akin, recently said that there is no need for abortion exceptions allowing girls or women who have been raped to get an abortion because women's bodies are able to prevent pregnancies if they are victims of legitimate rape.
My first reaction to hearing this from my editor was, What?
How does this make any sense at all? First of all, what counts a legitimate rape and what is "illegitimate" rape? Second of all, has this guy ever taken a basic biology class? I mean the body is capable of some pretty amazing things but being able to pick and choose which sexual encounters result in pregnancy is not one of them.
Every time male politicians open there mouths about women, women's reproductive issues and systems, it just reconfirms the fact that men have no idea what is going on inside a woman's body.
If these are the leaders and future leaders of our country, I am more than a little concerned, but that is a whole other topic for another time.
Akin is now of course scrambling to take back his comments and keep his political career in tact but it seems like this all could have been prevented with a little research, Google anyone? Or simply taking 10 seconds to think about what you are about to say before opening your mouth.
A house representative from Missouri, Todd Akin, recently said that there is no need for abortion exceptions allowing girls or women who have been raped to get an abortion because women's bodies are able to prevent pregnancies if they are victims of legitimate rape.
My first reaction to hearing this from my editor was, What?
How does this make any sense at all? First of all, what counts a legitimate rape and what is "illegitimate" rape? Second of all, has this guy ever taken a basic biology class? I mean the body is capable of some pretty amazing things but being able to pick and choose which sexual encounters result in pregnancy is not one of them.
Every time male politicians open there mouths about women, women's reproductive issues and systems, it just reconfirms the fact that men have no idea what is going on inside a woman's body.
If these are the leaders and future leaders of our country, I am more than a little concerned, but that is a whole other topic for another time.
Akin is now of course scrambling to take back his comments and keep his political career in tact but it seems like this all could have been prevented with a little research, Google anyone? Or simply taking 10 seconds to think about what you are about to say before opening your mouth.
Friday, August 10, 2012
How far have we really come?
To preface this post, which will bring up some controversial issues, I am going to say everyone is entitled to their own opinion. This is my opinion and while your opinion may differ I still respect your right to have your opinion and hope you will do the same for me. Feel free to comment or have discussion if you feel so inclined but please keep it respectful.
I recently read the book "The Help" and I really liked it but throughout the whole book I was so disturbed by the way the blacks were treated and was appalled at some of the ideas white people had about blacks, like they would get diseases from their black maids if they used the same toilet. At the end of the book I was thinking how this was such a long time ago but really it wasn't, had my mom been born in the South she likely would've been raised by a black maid instead of her mother!
Anyways, the book also made me think about how everyone talks about how far we have come in terms of civil rights for everyone but really how much have we changed?
We haven't changed, we have just changed our target from black people to gay people (and by we I don't mean you and me personally, just the general feel of society).
The prejudice against gays isn't to the level of that against blacks, I mean gay people can eat wherever they want, they can go to school wherever they want and they don't have to use separate bathrooms (although I am sure there are people who would prefer it that way).
But gay people can and are discriminated against in the workplace, when it comes to getting housing and of course when it comes to being able to marry the person that you love.
Many will argue that it is different because being gay is a choice, people chose to be gay. Let me ask this if you were living in the South in the 1960s would you have chosen to be black? No! Just like no one would choose to black in that time, no one is going to choose to complicate their life now by choosing to by gay. I am a firm believer that gay is something people are born with, just like I was born with red hair and green eyes.
I don't understand the hatred and bias against gay people. What does what one person chooses to do behind closed doors have to do with me? How is letting two gay people get married an attack on my marriage and my family? My marriage and the marriage of a gay couple have absolutely nothing to do with each other! Yes, I understand many people disagree with the lifestyle but many people also disagree with drinking and having sex before marriage, yet they aren't trying to limit the freedoms of those people that live those lifestyles (which I might mention is a choice, whereas we have already established I think being gay is not).
The argument for religious institutions is that they are afraid if gay marriage is legalized they will be forced to perform marriages that go against there beliefs but again this makes no sense to me. The LDS church will only marry those that are worthy of their standards in their temples, the Catholic church does pre-marriage interviews and if a couple isn't planning to raise their children in the Catholic church they can forget about having their wedding at a Catholic church by a Catholic priest. Religious institutions already have the right to say no to any couple wanting to marry so why would letting gays get married change this?
I am also for gay adoption. I think in the world we live in where babies are sometimes born to 13 year-old girls or women so addicted to drugs that their babies are born being addicted to drugs too that letting a gay couple adopt one of those babies would only change that child's life for the better. How having two loving parents, regardless of whether they are the same gender or not, cannot possibly be worse than having an abusive, neglectful family.
There is no good reason why gay people shouldn't be afforded all the same rights and freedoms that I get. I got to marry the person I love and now get many benefits from the government and insurance companies for doing so, shouldn't they be allowed to do the same thing? Shouldn't they be able to make sure if something happens to them that their family and loved ones will be taken care of? Shouldn't they be able to get a job based on their qualifications not their sexual preferences?
I could go on an on for days about how ridiculous I think the whole argument for why gay people shouldn't have the same rights as straight people is but I won't. Instead I leave you with this.
In a recent post I saw on facebook a picture of Anne Hathaway with the following was posted as part of a quote from Anne, I could not agree more.
"There are people who've said I am being brave for being openly supportive of gay marriage and gay adoption, with all due respect, I humbly dissent. I am not being brave. I am being a decent human being. Love is a human experience, not a political statement."
I recently read the book "The Help" and I really liked it but throughout the whole book I was so disturbed by the way the blacks were treated and was appalled at some of the ideas white people had about blacks, like they would get diseases from their black maids if they used the same toilet. At the end of the book I was thinking how this was such a long time ago but really it wasn't, had my mom been born in the South she likely would've been raised by a black maid instead of her mother!
Anyways, the book also made me think about how everyone talks about how far we have come in terms of civil rights for everyone but really how much have we changed?
We haven't changed, we have just changed our target from black people to gay people (and by we I don't mean you and me personally, just the general feel of society).
The prejudice against gays isn't to the level of that against blacks, I mean gay people can eat wherever they want, they can go to school wherever they want and they don't have to use separate bathrooms (although I am sure there are people who would prefer it that way).
But gay people can and are discriminated against in the workplace, when it comes to getting housing and of course when it comes to being able to marry the person that you love.
Many will argue that it is different because being gay is a choice, people chose to be gay. Let me ask this if you were living in the South in the 1960s would you have chosen to be black? No! Just like no one would choose to black in that time, no one is going to choose to complicate their life now by choosing to by gay. I am a firm believer that gay is something people are born with, just like I was born with red hair and green eyes.
I don't understand the hatred and bias against gay people. What does what one person chooses to do behind closed doors have to do with me? How is letting two gay people get married an attack on my marriage and my family? My marriage and the marriage of a gay couple have absolutely nothing to do with each other! Yes, I understand many people disagree with the lifestyle but many people also disagree with drinking and having sex before marriage, yet they aren't trying to limit the freedoms of those people that live those lifestyles (which I might mention is a choice, whereas we have already established I think being gay is not).
The argument for religious institutions is that they are afraid if gay marriage is legalized they will be forced to perform marriages that go against there beliefs but again this makes no sense to me. The LDS church will only marry those that are worthy of their standards in their temples, the Catholic church does pre-marriage interviews and if a couple isn't planning to raise their children in the Catholic church they can forget about having their wedding at a Catholic church by a Catholic priest. Religious institutions already have the right to say no to any couple wanting to marry so why would letting gays get married change this?
I am also for gay adoption. I think in the world we live in where babies are sometimes born to 13 year-old girls or women so addicted to drugs that their babies are born being addicted to drugs too that letting a gay couple adopt one of those babies would only change that child's life for the better. How having two loving parents, regardless of whether they are the same gender or not, cannot possibly be worse than having an abusive, neglectful family.
There is no good reason why gay people shouldn't be afforded all the same rights and freedoms that I get. I got to marry the person I love and now get many benefits from the government and insurance companies for doing so, shouldn't they be allowed to do the same thing? Shouldn't they be able to make sure if something happens to them that their family and loved ones will be taken care of? Shouldn't they be able to get a job based on their qualifications not their sexual preferences?
I could go on an on for days about how ridiculous I think the whole argument for why gay people shouldn't have the same rights as straight people is but I won't. Instead I leave you with this.
In a recent post I saw on facebook a picture of Anne Hathaway with the following was posted as part of a quote from Anne, I could not agree more.
"There are people who've said I am being brave for being openly supportive of gay marriage and gay adoption, with all due respect, I humbly dissent. I am not being brave. I am being a decent human being. Love is a human experience, not a political statement."
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