Just Go Away

Today is the third day in a row I have had a headache. Monday I didn't get said headache until about 5:30 p.m. so I took some Advil and finished my shift at work no problem. Tuesday the headache started around 1 p.m. not wanting to be a drug addict I didn't take any medicine until just before I left work an hour early because my head hurt so bad. Today the headache started on my drive to work about 9:00 a.m. after I had already taken two tylenol as a preventative method. I very seriously considered turning around and calling in sick but the two interviews I had scheduled and two stories I had to write deterred me. Now sitting at work staring at the blinding light of my computer screen I really wish I had just gone home.
I don't know why I am getting these headaches. I am fully hydrated, I am eating healthier than I have in months and I am working out. I go to bed tired each night and feel like I am sleeping well. I had my eyes checked recently so I know my glasses are out of date. I am not experiencing any significant stress that I can think of but still my head is hurting.
I don't know what the problem is or how to fix it I just want the headaches to just go away.

So True

I read this on a friends facebook page today and I had to share, it is so true.

"Life is too short. Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness. So laugh when you can, apologize when you should and let go of what you can't change. Love deeply and forgive quickly, take chances, give everything and have no regrets. Life is too short to be unhappy. You have to take the good with the bad, smile when you're sad, love what you got and always remember what you had. Always forgive but never forget, learn from your mistakes but never regret. People change and things go wrong but always remember life goes on."

Wahoo!

I have been doing my workout and diet plan for a whole week now and as of this morning I have lost 3 pounds! I am so excited. It is great to have worked hard and to see that hard work paying off. Today I made all my snacks and lunches for next week so the diet will be easy. All I have to do in the morning is grab my containers and head out the door! No need to measure anything or decide what I am going to eat because it is all ready to go!
In other news my beat at the Daily Herald is expanding! I will now be covering UVU in addition to Health and BYU issues. I am actually excited because there are many days that I feel like I should be doing more work and I struggle to find stories so I am looking forward to having more to write about!

Sometimes You Just Have To Be Mean

In life and definitely in Journalism there are sometimes that it is necessary to be a little mean, sometimes you have to be downright bitchy to get your point across. This happened to me today. Probably a week and half ago a man called me telling me his son, who is in the custody of DCFS, has severe asthma and that anytime he is around any kind of pet dander, smoke or other irritants he has a severe attack. He proceeded to tell me he got rids of his dogs, changed the carpet in his house, repainted, stopped smoking and a number of other things to keep his child from having an asthma attack during visits but the attacks kept happening. Come to find out the child's case worker has a dog and she is the one causing the attacks. So he wanted me to write a story about how DCFS was doing nothing about it and he son was getting sick because of it. I wanted to do a story but then his doctor wouldn't speak and then his lawyer wouldn't talk and then when his lawyer did talk gave up very little information. Finally I spoke with a man from DCFS he said that if this man was to bring a doctors note saying his son's health was in danger they would switch the case worker but the man hadn't done that yet. So there is really nothing to write about here. Still the man has called me three times today. He asked "How hard is it to get a story in the paper?" I responded, "There is nothing for me to write about, you haven't done what they asked so therefore this is your problem and there is nothing I can do about it." He still called and left me another message with a number to call his doctor. I called him back and said, "Listen, DCFS has said they will change your case worker if you provide a doctor's note. Until you do that and DCFS still refuses I cannot help you." I thought he got the message. I wasn't speaking in a friendly tone and this was the third time I had said the same thing, but no. He called AGAIN!! I had gone the bathroom and missed it (dang I know) so I called him back and it went straight to voicemail this is what I said, "I advise you call DCFS and find out what they need you to do. If and when you have done those things and they still refuse to switch your case worker contact me again and I can get something in the paper. In the meantime I have other stories to write and other people to help, so unless there is a new development please don't call me again."
A little bitchy? Yes. Absolutely necessary? Yes. It isn't my fault he didn't get the point the first 3 times he called today.

4 months

It is crazy how fast time flies! Today is exactly 4 months until the wedding. I can't believe it, it honestly seems like just yesterday that it was still more than a year away. I am getting excited. I think I found some shoes to wear and in two weeks John and I get to go to Millennial Falls to pick all of our flowers, food, centerpieces and decorations. All of my bridesmaids have picked their dresses, my sisters all have something to wear, McKenna has a flower girl dress and my mom has a dress to wear, so needless to say things are moving along nicely. Before you know it I will be back on here posting about how it is only a week away!!

A Long Ways to Go

I thought was doing really well with training for the Ragnar but running a 10k yesterday made me realize I am not nearly as far along as I thought I was. The 10k was HARD!! I didn't expect it to be easy but it was much harder than I thought too. I know part of the problem is I never run outside for training and running outside versus running on the treadmill is so much different. Yesterday during the run I kept getting calf cramps and I had to walk a lot!! My pace was about 30 seconds slower than I thought it would. So needless to say I have a lot of work to do. But I remembered why I like running races, it is really fun to cross that finish line with everyone cheering. It is such an adrenaline rush.

Sometimes I Lie

Remember how I said I was going to try and post less about losing weight? Well sometimes I am a liar. I just got my workout and diet plan from my personal trainer and I am so so so so excited!! I honestly feel like a kid on Christmas morning. You know when you get so excited you squeal and kick your legs? Yeah I just did that at my desk. The awesome thing about the plan is it is pretty flexible with lots of options for food and it looks I get to eat a lot (or it looks like it anyways). I am excited to make my grocery list and get started on Sunday.
I love love love that it is all laid out for me. I don't have to guess about anything, not how much of each food I should, not how long I should work out, it is all ready for me all I have to do is do it!
I am doing a happy dance inside right now :)

So Excited

I have been considering hiring a personal trainer/nutritionist but just haven't been able to bring myself to pay the kind of money it costs. Yesterday I discovered the coolest thing, a local business that does online personal training. So I bit the bullet and signed up because as you know I have been so discouraged lately and I just need someone's help! If you are like John you are probably thinking how does an online personal trainer work? So it started with a personal assessment, asking me about my weight, height, body fat my current exercises and eating habits, healthy foods I like to eat and foods I would like to be included in my regular diet. I went into super detail explaining how far I can run without walking, lifting weights and being sore every single time, how I am obsesses with desserts and that I cook dinner for more than just me. Now Lindsey (that is the personal trainer's name) will take a few days and create me a custom workout and diet plan! I think it is awesome! I paid for 3 months because it was cheaper that way and the more help I can get the better! And I am excited because Lindsey said she ran the Las Vegas Ragnar so she can help me get ready for the Utah one. I just wish it wasn't going to take 3 days to get my program. I had a personal trainer before and it was so so helpful, just knowing that someone was going to hold me accountable and that I don't want to cheat or waste because I am paying for it! From what I understand I will have to email Lindsey how I did with my diet every night and how I did with the workout plan once a week, which is awesome. So as you can tell I am super excited!

What are people thinking?

Working in the news business I am exposed to some of the ridiculous ideas people have to bills that should be passed. I have found that in Utah the number of ridiculous bills outweigh the number of bills that will solve a legitimate problem.
For example, I am working on a story about a new sex education bill that would make the core curriculum for sex education in Utah abstinence based (which is nothing new) with an emphasis on the idea that not having sex until marriage and staying faithful after marriage is the ONLY way to prevent STDs.
I get that only have sex with one person and knowing that person doesn't have an STD will keep you from getting one but what does marriage have to do with it? If I only have sex with one person for my whole life but never get married I am still not going to get an STD. Marriage is not a risk factor here!
Utah is insistent on teaching abstinence only sex ed, which to me is crazy! Fine teach that abstinence is the best way to prevent pregnancy and STDS because let's be real it is but teenagers are going to have sex regardless of what teachers say so why not arm them with the knowledge to protect themselves, rather than having teen moms running around with 4 kids.
The legislature is full of old, white LDS men that don't realize times have changed since they grew up. Things are different and the laws that govern this state shouldn't be based solely on the values of one religion regardless of whether it is the dominant religion or not. I could go on all day about this but I won't. It just seems so silly to me.

Siesta Time

I think the Spanish have the right idea when it comes to afternoon Siestas. I mean who doesn't want a nap in the afternoon? I would go for a 30 to 45 minute nap almost every single day, sometimes longer if the time was available.
I feel like I would be motivated to come to work earlier knowing I would be rewarded with a nap later in the day. I also feel like I would get more done in the afternoon because I would be refreshed and ready to go, instead of dragging during the afternoon slump. And siesta time would really benefit everyone because if stores and business were to close for an hour or two lets say from 1 to 3 p.m. then they could need to stay open later to accommodate the public and more people would have the time and energy to go shopping after work!! Okay maybe not but still I think it is such a good idea.
All in favor of Siesta time raise your hand!!

I Try So Hard

I have always been told that nothing that is worth it ever comes easy, but for once in my life I just want it to be easy. I realize I don't have a hard life, in fact I have a great life, but I do have an extremely hard time losing weight. I can eat one cookie and gain 5 pounds but it will take me weeks to lose that same 5 pounds. I don't understand!! I try so so so hard to be good. I workout regularly (4 to 5 times a week), I usually stay under my calorie goal and rarely eat until I am so full I can't move but still nothing! I have been so good for several months and I have only lost 5 pounds. I know I know 5 pounds is amazing but for me it is just disheartening. What is the point of not pigging out on all my favorite foods if I need get no benefit from resisting?! I am so frustrated with the whole process and just want to give up. I know that just not for aesthetic reasons but for health reasons I need to lose a little weight and I am trying but nothing is working and I just don't know what to do anymore. I just want to see my efforts rewarded even if it is just a tiny bit.

Sucessful Saturday

I would classify today as a success. I slept in until 10:30 and then John and I cleaned the apartment; complete with with moving the furniture and vacuuming underneath. I then went running, which I have to say was the lease successful part of the day. The workout room is normally comfortably cool but when I walked in today it was so hot I could barely breathe. I ran for 5 minutes before I stopped to go ask the managers what the problem was. They were out of the office but I saw the thermostat was set at almost 90 degrees and heat was turned. It was blowing hot air on me while I was trying to run! And the managers locked all the windows so they don't open, so annoying. So anyways I ran two miles and then John and I went to Millennial Falls (the wedding place) and tasted dinner options, dessert options and cake options. I was pleasantly surprised when John like the cinnamon crumb cake with cream cheese frosting. It was really tasty! And the thing gave us a good idea of some of the centerpieces and things we can choose when we go down to lay everything out in a few weeks. Then we went grocery shopping and got all sorts of delicious food! Then I made sugar cookie dough so I can make valentines cookies tomorrow. And finally John and I made BBQ chicken pizza! It was so yummy. So as you can see the day was a great success; cleaning, running, cake tasting, grocery shopping and pizza making!!

A Tribute to Nicole

The title of this post might make it seem as if Nicole has died but no she has just moved the great New York City. She arrived this morning on the red-eye flight. I am so excited for her and thought I would pay tribute to a few of the good times we have had together because there have been many.
I met Nicole as a freshman in college, we shared a bathroom. It didn't take long for us to become friends and we caused much mischief. We nearly broke Kadee (another roommate) and her boyfriend Ryan up after convincing Kadee it was a good idea to rip open the shower curtain while Ryan was showering. We thought it was funny, he did not. We got caught hanging out on Emily's lofted bed just because it was fun.
The next year we both lived on campus but in different buildings. Nicole had a kitchen so our fun included many late night brownies, playing pool in the basement and throwing pumpkins off her roof. This was also the year I officially became her photo assistant. I was the victim of two deaths in a photo series she did and the murderer in another.
The next year we lived together again in a basement apartment. This is where Nicole introduced me to Sex and the City, which I now I love and where we got yelled at by next door neighbor multiple times for making too much noise on the porch.
We haven't lived together for almost 3 years now but have still had many many many good times.
I will miss that woman!! But am now super stoked that visiting her will require me to visit NYC.

New Cuisine

I am very much looking forward to when I get off work in an hour and 20 minutes because that means I get to go home and then John and I are going to dinner that Wild Grape! I have been wanting to go here for seriously 2 years. It is a restaurant that boasts most of their food is made from local grown or organic food and I really excited to try it. I have looked at the menu 3 times already today and can't wait to go there and order something.
I would say John and I are pretty boring when it comes to going out. We don't usually go to a lot of new unique places (partly because we can't afford it, partly because John is a little bit picky) which makes today even more exciting. I will post later on how the dining experience went but for now I am counting down the minutes until I can go home.

Taking Life for Granted

I would like to think I am not an incredibly selfish person, that I realize other people out there have way more difficult things to deal with than I do but every once in a while something happens that just slaps me in the face and makes me realize how truly blessed I am. Yesterday I covered two stories that did just that. The first was a ribbon cutting for an intensive physical therapy center that treats little kids with disorders that make it difficult, if not impossible for them to walk, stand and develop normal motor functions. But despite having to use a walker or little crutches these 4-year-olds were so so happy. They got to cut the ribbon for the opening of the center and they were so excited about it. Their little faces lit up and it was so inspiring.
The second story was at a Recreation and Habilitation center where they work with older adults that have mental disabilities. These are people that have the brain function of 5 to 8 year olds. They have been learning for the past several months about food labels, portion control, nutrition and exercise and some of them have lost more than 60 pounds. I went to their little class and weigh-in and again it was so inspiring. They got so excited to have lost 2 pounds, when I lose 2 pounds I complain because I only lost 2 pounds. They all cheered each other on and celebrated each others successes and were excited for themselves. One of the girls in the class came up to me afterwards introduced herself as Angie and said "You look pretty today." I would never have dreamed of saying, "Oh I don't either," like I would say to any one of my friends. Instead I just said Thank You and knew that she meant it because of the smile on her face and light in her eyes. It makes me wonder why we can't all be like that? Just yesterday I was telling a friend of mine who recently had a baby how good she looked but she insisted that no, she didn't look good she was still fat. I said four different times how I thought she looked really good and never once did she say thank you or "You know what I am back to my pre-baby weight and that is exciting!" I am not criticizing her because I do the exact same thing every single day, and it makes me think that maybe we are taking life for granted. If we aren't celebrating our successes, no matter how small and being grateful for every single day that we wake up and get out of bed then we are being selfish. Because there are people out there who can't get out of bed on their own, who can't get dressed by themselves and like a girl I interviewed the other day said, "People who are dealing with a lot bigger things than a bad hair day." She was a volunteer at a grief support group for people who had lost members of their family. And she was right!! I complain if I have to get up early and don't have time to make coffee and about a million other things that don't matter but it could be so so much worse. I am not saying I am going to go forward from this point and be perfect and never complain about trivial things again because well that just won't happen. But I want to make it a new priority in my life to slow down, stop and realize that there are great things in my life, things that I should be celebrating every single day. I want to try harder to not take my health, my job, my family, my life for granted.

Muffin Shame

I went to breakfast this morning with my good friend Nicole before she moves away to New York. We went to Mimi's Cafe which I love for breakfast! Our breakfasts came with a muffin and last time I went there I had a Honey Bran muffin that was really good so that is what I decided to order. When I ordered this our waiter was like, "Bran really? Out of all the muffins you choose bran?" Nicole ordered a blueberry and he shamed her too, then proceeded to list in order of popularity their 8 muffins. Apparently blueberry and bran rank 7th and 8th. I am not a person that wants to eat chocolate chips or chocolate mousse or carrot muffins with my breakfasts. This is what I wanted to say to Mr. Waiter, "I don't care if most people order the banana chocolate chip muffin, I want a bran muffin so just keep your opinions to yourself and bring me my muffin!" I was a waitress once and I get it sometimes people ask for opinions on what is good or not but never once did I waiver from my bran muffin choice, so don't make me feel bad about ordering what I want! I still left him a pretty good tip because when Nicole didn't like her blueberry muffin he brought her a free banana chocolate chip one.

Crunching Numbers

Some days I think it would have been good for me to go to business school. I am obsessed with crunching numbers. How many minutes will it take me to run 5 miles if I run at a pace of 11:22 a mile? How much money do John and I need to save between now and June to pay for the wedding? How much will I weigh a year from now if I lose 1.25 lbs a week? How big of a house payment could we afford if we were going to buy a house right now? How much money would I take home each paycheck if I made $1, $5 or $10 more an hour? You name it and I have probably figured it out, more than once.
Literally once a day I add up all the known income John and I have coming in and how much we can put towards the wedding to make sure it is enough. The numbers never change much but I still do it over and over again. I also tweak the wedding budget several times a week, adding a dollar or two here and subtracting from there.
It is almost like I think if I calculate things over and over again someday something magical will happen and all of the sudden I will be making $5 more an hour or I will have lost 2 pounds a week for 12 weeks or we will have the money to buy an awesome house or my mile time will suddenly decrease. Sadly, that is not the case but still I continue to crunch the numbers!

I don't want to seem obessessed

I haven't been blogging as much lately because I have noticed that the majority of my posts lately have been about my weight, exercise and weight loss. Obviously this is an important issue in my life but I don't want it to seem like the only issue in my life! Yes I am concerned about losing weight and am trying really really hard but there are other things happening. I am getting married in 137 days, I have a really great job, a really great family and really great friends! I do have other exciting things to blog about besides my weight, so I will try from now on to blog more about other important things too!

Excuses

If you recall I wrote a post by this same title a few weeks ago. No this is not the same post but it might be similar. Today I had the chance to listen to a mother/daughter pair who have been on the Biggest Loser and lost over 100 pounds each speak about their life change. It was interesting and fascinating. Yes they have gained some weight back but in 8 months since the show it hasn't been much. The mom still works out 2 hours a day but the daughter works out 5 times a week for about an hour a day. I can do that! But anyways the daughter said something that really struck me. She said "Every excuse is a choice to fail." I had never really thought about it that way. I had never really thought that every time I make an excuse why I can't go running (and there are many) I am choosing to once again fail. I am choosing to say, "Oh well, it doesn't really matter." Most people I know, including myself don't like failure so why would anyone choose to fail?!! The daughter also addressed that. She said because failure is easy. It is easy to sit on the couch and eat ice cream. It is easy to sleep in on Saturday morning. It is easy to reach for a bigger pair of pants in the closet. But anything worth doing is hard!! Running a marathon has literally been the hardest thing I have ever done but it was so worth it! The feeling I had when I crossed that finish line was incredible but because now I have a new goal and it is easier to watch TV than to go running that is what I do. I don't want to choose to fail anymore, I don't want to take the easy way out because I have done that time and time again and it always leaves me feeling crappy. It is going to be hard? Yes. Is it going to be scary? Yes. Am I going to want to give up? Yes. Will I give up? I can't answer that question right now, but I hope the answer will be no because every excuse is just another choice to fail. And I am done failing.

My Love/Hate Relationship with Running

Running and I have a love/hate relationship. It has been this way for years. I hated running when I was in high school because it was always used as a punishment during volleyball or basketball. When I was a freshman in college I discovered I actually enjoyed running and took it a little overboard and signed up for a marathon and within 6 months did a marathon and half marathon but then I was burnt out and didn't run much for the next few years. Now I have once again started running on a regular basis but it is getting boring!! Maybe once it warms up and I can run outside in the daylight it will be better, but for now running on the treadmill is no good. I have to force myself to go running and I only do it because I am training for the Wasatch Back in June. I also run because my mom and I have challenges and well I don't like losing. So here we are 4 1/2 months from a race that I need run a minimum of 3 times a week for 4 to 7 miles and I am already struggling to find motivation. In case you were wondering the exact same thing happened when I did the marathon, training went so well for several months then not so well for the last 4. I will keep running and keep training because I do not want to be a failure and instead of just having the weight of finishing on my own conscious I have 11 other people counting on me to do it. But I am thinking maybe once this race is done I will explore new workout venues. I took a zumba class once and it was really fun so maybe I will do that more or take up swimming (triathlon anyone?) or anything other than just pounding the pavement. Because while it can be relaxing, stress relieving and awesome sometimes, other times it can be boring and tedious.